Things COULD be worse...

So I found out that a family that has an LOI ( letter of intent) of September 3 is STILL waiting for their LOA! Thats eight weeks or something...someone do the math. Poor Beth! As hard as it may seem to be waiting over 4 weeks for our TA this poor family has no idea when their LOA will show up and has no idea what the hold up is? So....the only thing we can do is just take a deep breath and step back from this whole thing and let it go. Cant control it...cant make a phone call and fix it... I learned that with trying to deal with the INS. Cant help but feel jealous of those people who were just three days ahead of us and still seem to be moving along... happy for them...dont get me wrong...but a tad jealous. We have been "what if-ing" our selves all week. If only I had found her sooner.... if only the LOA had been submitted sooner...if only it had come on a Wednesday and then appeared in China BEFORE the national holiday.... you can drive yourself crazy doing this and frankly I think I mentally left the reservation a few weeks ago.

There are plenty of things still to do around here...and ideas on what to pack...things to buy...etc. For some reason it is difficult to make any more moves until we get the TA... Im one of those people that like pressure and a deadline...and without a TA, I dont have one.

Robby did ask if we were going to love her more than we love him and Jack...only because he is a witness to the excitement surrounding her and has heard me tell the same stories and updates a million times. I explained to him that obviously we love all the kids and that if he had only seen how much excitement that surrounded him before he was born he wouldnt even ask that question. Of course, we would bypass the first three months when I was sick as a dog because of him... I dont think knowing that would help his self esteem much. "Gee honey, we loved you from the beginning...except for when mommy was sneaking naps at work in the womens restroom and throwing up the $40 fruit plate she ordered in a San Diego hotel"

Sign language class tonight... so far we have learned about 250 or so words....most of them I remember. I dont know that we will get to finish the class prior to leaving for China or when we will be able to move on to the next one. We are going to continue to sign even if she is a CI candidate even though it goes against what some AV therapists would recommend...but I have spoken to several parents of deaf kids who have seen much greater results with their kids with CI/hearing aids AND signing.

What is the plan after we get the TA? Well, then we get an estimate on the Consulate Appointments that are available and wait two or three days for the date to be confirmed. After that we make flight plans, call the grandparents who have been OH SO GENEROUS to fly out here like Delta Force at a minutes notice if necessary! Throw a few things in a bag and try to prepare for something that no amount of time or planning can truly prepare us for...who are we kidding?

Several people have asked what we need in terms of things they can buy us and honestly...we dont really need anything right now. We have more clothes for her than both the boys put together and kept all our developmental toys for her to use. Off the top of my head what we will REALLY need in the beginning is childcare for the boys from time to time as we drive her to Birmingham for her physical and hearing evaluations. If we go the CI route we will be driving to Birmingham once a week....so the childcare would be a huge thing for us. Oh..and if you think you are going to be funny and buy her something frilly - lacey - poofy - cutesy...ect...well go right ahead. As long as you are prepared to see it for sale on EBAY you have our blessing! :)

For those of you that expect the instant bond and stories of rainbows and butterflies...well, dont kid yourself. This poor kid is not going to like us in the beginning and most likly really NOT like me.. she will have been taken from her foster mother and handed off to some weird crazy lady with weird color skin that smells funny and keeps trying to hug and kiss her. What would you do? Remember when you were a kid and that weird Aunt of yours would show up from time to time and get into your personal space and try to hug and kiss you and all you wanted to do was run away and hide...well, imagine that scenario and that is probably what we are looking at. It will pass though and before you know it she will rolling her eyes at me as she storms up the stairs to spend time in her room..probably signing something offensive in hopes that I dont see it..but I know all the bad words...in fact they are the ones that I know best...so good luck on that one kid!

Okay...so back to real life... teacher conferences...gift shopping for Chinese officials...laundry and THANKS TO GOD that I get to play hockey tonight. I have rambled enough here today.

Sigh.... no TA.....

No Travel Approval today..... but tomorrow is another day to hope.

Potential for a slight delay...

I hate even posting this....but I have to. Yes, we may be delayed a week longer than we had hoped. Originally I was told that the CCAA ( the organization that processes our Travel Approval) was operating at half staff during a national holiday and then found out that they were actually shut down for a week. Not a three day weekend..not even a four day weekend...an entire week....shut down....$(#*#&@))@)! Because of that there is the potential that our TA will take 4 weeks and not 3. I found out that our LOA was not rec'vd until October 6 so you can basically add 3.5 weeks to that and that puts us around next Wednesday. Now, it isnt 100% that it will take that long..but there is the potential for it too. There were two families that rec'vd their LOA three days ahead of us and got their TA last friday. They were right on schedule. So we will just have to wait and see. Again...out of our control. The good news is that the family that is just three days ahead of us in paperwork processing is leaving for China on October 31 and will get their child on November 2. Hopefully once this TA situation is worked out we will be on a fast time line as well!

Now before all you tens of blog readers think that Im just being immature about the whole time thing and I should just chill out and relax I will let you in on the reason I want to go ASAP! If we can go before a certain date my sister will get to go with us...past a certain date she will not be able to. So that's why we are pushing the time thing...its not just about not having enough to fill my days or me just being impatient.. I want my sister with me when they hand this child to me. If it doesnt happen, obviously we will survive...but to come this close and then miss it by just a few days would be a huge buzz kill. Maybe tomorrow is the day?

Amended I-600A

We got the amended i-600A that we needed from INS today. Now I can stop stalking the INS officials in Atlanta and keep my face off the walls of the post office because things were about to get ugly. Now it appears everything is in place for our trip. We have all our paperwork complete and we just have to pack and go. Now the only thing we are waiting on are dates. I did find out that the CCAA was closed for a week and that could slow us down a little..but as the group three days ahead of us got their TA - I feel good about us getting ours next week as well. Keep the faith...its coming!

It's not the waiting...it's the NOT Knowing...

Okay..so those of you who know me know I dont do well with questions in the air. I dont like not knowing whatever it is Im thinking about and so the not knowing of all the stuff I really dont know drives me batty. If I could have taken an additional test after my initial pregnancy tests to find out what gender the boys were, I would have done it! The not knowing the gender for the first 18 weeks drove me crazy! So in talking to a good friend of mine recently over email ( hi erin! love ya) I figured out that the waiting isnt killing me....its the not knowing the dates that is. As soon as I know our travel dates...than I will calm down. Its having it all up in the air.. .that sort of thing. As long as I have the dates I will be able to come up with some kind of game plan and get the wheels in motion...its not the wait that is killing my MOJO...its the not knowing.

But yes..hopefully next week at this time I will be a different person! Im just ready for the dates...

I was hoping figuring that out would somehow make me feel better... shoot... I dont think it did...one to another week. Im shooting for Wednesday...or at least by Wednesday.

No TA for us today...

however, two of the families that got thier LOA just three days ahead of us DID get their TA today...so it stands to reason that we will be between Monday and Wednesday of next week. At least that is what Im going for. Im still hoping that by the end of next week we will have firm travel dates. The people from these other agencies seem to have a pretty good handle almost immediatley when they are going. Both are traveling JUST TWO WEEKS from today. If that happens for us than that would hopefully get us Molly either around or ON November 13...our 9th wedding anniversary. I am TERRIBLE at buying gifts for these kinds of things... so this would work out quite well as handing Rob a three year old daughter would certainly exclude me from having to go out and buy a package of golf balls, dont you think. This is certainly not the date I had hoped for...I was really wanting to go the first week in November...or even the last week in October...but it is so out of my hands....so all I can do is just shoot for Monday...and try to start gathering things we will need for the trip. What else can I do?

$*$&#!%#@!!!

Okay...so I have decided that Im tired of waiting. Thats it. Im just tired of waiting. Im tired of counting weeks...counting days...my heart jumping when the phone rings...tired of the INS ignoring my attempts to find out information and their blatent disregard for any attempts made by me for information. Im tired of guessing when the travel dates are? Im tired of trying to figure out ways to make the system work faster. Im just tired.