Thursday, October 23, 2008

Things COULD be worse...

So I found out that a family that has an LOI ( letter of intent) of September 3 is STILL waiting for their LOA! Thats eight weeks or something...someone do the math. Poor Beth! As hard as it may seem to be waiting over 4 weeks for our TA this poor family has no idea when their LOA will show up and has no idea what the hold up is? So....the only thing we can do is just take a deep breath and step back from this whole thing and let it go. Cant control it...cant make a phone call and fix it... I learned that with trying to deal with the INS. Cant help but feel jealous of those people who were just three days ahead of us and still seem to be moving along... happy for them...dont get me wrong...but a tad jealous. We have been "what if-ing" our selves all week. If only I had found her sooner.... if only the LOA had been submitted sooner...if only it had come on a Wednesday and then appeared in China BEFORE the national holiday.... you can drive yourself crazy doing this and frankly I think I mentally left the reservation a few weeks ago.

There are plenty of things still to do around here...and ideas on what to pack...things to buy...etc. For some reason it is difficult to make any more moves until we get the TA... Im one of those people that like pressure and a deadline...and without a TA, I dont have one.

Robby did ask if we were going to love her more than we love him and Jack...only because he is a witness to the excitement surrounding her and has heard me tell the same stories and updates a million times. I explained to him that obviously we love all the kids and that if he had only seen how much excitement that surrounded him before he was born he wouldnt even ask that question. Of course, we would bypass the first three months when I was sick as a dog because of him... I dont think knowing that would help his self esteem much. "Gee honey, we loved you from the beginning...except for when mommy was sneaking naps at work in the womens restroom and throwing up the $40 fruit plate she ordered in a San Diego hotel"

Sign language class tonight... so far we have learned about 250 or so words....most of them I remember. I dont know that we will get to finish the class prior to leaving for China or when we will be able to move on to the next one. We are going to continue to sign even if she is a CI candidate even though it goes against what some AV therapists would recommend...but I have spoken to several parents of deaf kids who have seen much greater results with their kids with CI/hearing aids AND signing.

What is the plan after we get the TA? Well, then we get an estimate on the Consulate Appointments that are available and wait two or three days for the date to be confirmed. After that we make flight plans, call the grandparents who have been OH SO GENEROUS to fly out here like Delta Force at a minutes notice if necessary! Throw a few things in a bag and try to prepare for something that no amount of time or planning can truly prepare us for...who are we kidding?

Several people have asked what we need in terms of things they can buy us and honestly...we dont really need anything right now. We have more clothes for her than both the boys put together and kept all our developmental toys for her to use. Off the top of my head what we will REALLY need in the beginning is childcare for the boys from time to time as we drive her to Birmingham for her physical and hearing evaluations. If we go the CI route we will be driving to Birmingham once a the childcare would be a huge thing for us. Oh..and if you think you are going to be funny and buy her something frilly - lacey - poofy - cutesy...ect...well go right ahead. As long as you are prepared to see it for sale on EBAY you have our blessing! :)

For those of you that expect the instant bond and stories of rainbows and butterflies...well, dont kid yourself. This poor kid is not going to like us in the beginning and most likly really NOT like me.. she will have been taken from her foster mother and handed off to some weird crazy lady with weird color skin that smells funny and keeps trying to hug and kiss her. What would you do? Remember when you were a kid and that weird Aunt of yours would show up from time to time and get into your personal space and try to hug and kiss you and all you wanted to do was run away and hide...well, imagine that scenario and that is probably what we are looking at. It will pass though and before you know it she will rolling her eyes at me as she storms up the stairs to spend time in her room..probably signing something offensive in hopes that I dont see it..but I know all the bad fact they are the ones that I know good luck on that one kid! back to real life... teacher shopping for Chinese officials...laundry and THANKS TO GOD that I get to play hockey tonight. I have rambled enough here today.

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